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I'm starting to suspect he has more pics of my old starter than he does of porn stars. There is wire with a connector, just hanging. Mac says it is the coil wire. |  |
The 69 Adventure
Chapter 3 – Starter Removal and Fiascos
8/2/01 - Verifying the type of starter I need has become a study in taking pics with the digital camera and ICQ-ing them to Jester.
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I'm starting to suspect he has more pics of my old starter than he does of porn stars. There is wire with a connector, just hanging. Mac says it is the coil wire. | |
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It wouldn't cause the starter to make dying noises; the car just wouldn't start We surmise the wiring is 'rigged'. I know what type starter I need and have pretty much decided that this car project would be just about impossible without the digi camera. |
I have started a page of acronyms, a page that has all the info Jester and Mac have sent me on starters, and anything else mechanical we've discussed, and I've read the July 2000 CarCraft article on starters. My concern has become strictly physical... can I reach under there and deal with a 30 pound starter?
| 8/3/01 - Sam isn't real keen on any of this car stuff (I won't ask to borrow his tools) and Jester is insistent that I have decent a floor jack and jackstands (calling the ones I have rusted toothpicks). So I head off to Sears in search of tools and jackstands. Luckily, my salesman is a car enthusiast and young enough to be patient with me. He finds an appropriately small floor jack and jackstands. |  |
Then we discuss tools and I decide on a socket set that has metric and standard sockets - after he tells me that new engines are metric. I grab a 9/16 open-end wrench, just in case, and a full set of screwdrivers. He even helps me load the car! At 1am I am trying to put all the little sockets in their proper slots and realizing I can't read the sizes without my glasses. Oh, front driver's tire is flat now!
The other highlight of the night is Jester writing down his plans and posting them on ICON to gather opinions. I was a bit insulted that he inferred concessions had to be made because 'a lady was driving', and that digressed to me being called a wimp and a wuss but I was heartened to see he was admitting to be part of this lunacy.
8/4/01 - Stella, her mom and brother stop by with Mom's new Monte - a great looking car! Someday the 69 will be just as pretty!
8/5/01 – Tristan spent the night after visiting in Ocean City all Saturday. He accused me of 'biting people's head off' when they offered assistance with the 69. I am SO determined to 'do this myself'; I guess I am getting carried away. Mac had told me I only had to remove 2 bolts and 2 wires, showed me where the starter was (you can see it thru the tire well). I figure Tris can sidewalk supervise and keep me out of trouble.
Disconnecting the battery, the rachet hits the wall of the engine compartment and scares me. I hope Tris got a good laugh from that! He used a rubber floor mat to insulate against the car - smart kid (and I learned a new trick).
We unpackage the jack and Tris has the same one. I grab a jackstand and before I know it, Tris has the car jacked up. We tried to place the jackstand underneath on plywood, but the car is angled over the hump in the driveway, and it won't do any good.
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I can't reach with the tire in the way and Tris takes the starter out for me, while I worry about the jack settling in the dirt.. And it does weigh about 30 pounds! |
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take another dozen pics of the starter - even labeling where the wires go and
head off to Pep Boys to get the replacement.
The older gentleman at the parts counter gets stuck with me. After explaining what I need, he tells me I can get it with or without the solenoid. Hey guys, after discussing the starter for a week, it would have been nice if someone had mentioned that second shiny cylinder was a solenoid! |
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My blank look must have given me away and the parts guy explained I can remove the shiny cylinder and use it on the new starter - it will save me a whopping six bucks. No thanks, just give me the whole contraption. I also purchased a can of Fix-a-Flat.
I attempt to put the bolts thru the starter. The ends have threads for maybe 3/4 of an inch. Then they are ridged for another inch. The threads fit the holes just fine, then the bolts won't go any further due to the ridges. I am totally frustrated. Everything I have learned tells me this is the correct starter. I can't use thinner bolts because these need to fit into the motor. There is also a tag on the starter which makes no sense to me - with a warning. "The Battery Cable Alignment Tab must line up with the Slot in the Solenoid cap before tightening. Failure to follow this instruction will cause the Solenoid Cap to break." No one is online to explain it either.
Sam comes home from work and politely asks how I am doing. I show him the starter and the bolts. He uses brute force and they go right through. I feel stupid and remind myself to consider this stuff was designed by a male and brute force is an option. Sam disappears into the house, shaking his head.
It looks like rain and I put the starter/solenoid in the car with the tools I'll need and decide to lower the car off the jack for the night. I get out the instruction manual for the jack, since twisting the handle isn't lowering anything. The instruction manual even has a diagram, labeling the handle and describing the mechanism. The directions say turn the release valve counter clockwise with the handle. Then pump it up once and the car should lower. I turn the handle, pump, and the car just goes up. Three times I re-read the directions and 3 times the car just gets higher! Totally frustrated, I succumb to asking Sam for help.
Sam begrudgingly heads outside, turns the handle counter clockwise, pumps once, and the car goes up. He reads the directions and the same thing happens a second time. I'm starting to feel like less of a dumbass. Sam scrutinizes the jack and discovers a release valve - under where the handle goes. He turns it and whomp! the car is flat on the ground. He puts the jack in the garage, tells me he will supervise starter replacement (I think he thinks I will drop the car on my head) and disappears again.
Jester appears online and I admit the jack fiasco - he gets a good chuckle, but I am pissed. The directions were obviously written by a male. If you have to diagram and label the handle, don't you think you should have the release valve labeled too? I vow to send Mr. Roebuck a nasty note. The tag on the starter just means to put it back the same way the old one came out - DUH!
My confidence is a bit shaky. If I am having this much trouble with 2 bolts and 2 wires, how will I ever figure out the new engine?